How to Handle Change: It All Makes "Cents"

Dear World:

I would like to throw my voice out about a mysterious and rather looming concept: CHANGE.
Bear with me, because it may appear like my thoughts are going everywhere. It's because they are. I speak in varicose veins-- eventually they'll make it back to the heart.

So.... Change is weird.
Not a very profound statement, but alas, still fitting. Change is weird.
I've noticed as I grow older something very odd: Things are not always the same! .... What?! ... But in all seriousness. Let's talk "change."

In the last month I have experienced a massive amount of this weird concept, change. Most often, change is good! Like when a baby poops in the diaper, it's good to change. ....... But often times, we find ourselves having a difficult time adjusting. ... Don't quite know how to relate that one back to diapers, sorry.

May I ask, has this happened to you? (Forget about the diapers, I'm talking about change again.) I submit that, at some point, it has.

Within this spring season alone, my older sister Melissa has discovered she is having a baby boy. This is a massive change for the Painters, first of all because it is the first baby, and also because it is a boy. What even is that, a boy? We're all daughters in my family. There is no such thing as baby boys in the Painter family. .......Weird. But! Alas, a good change.

Melissa and I in 1995 - Kyle and Melissa's Wedding - Melissa is Preggo

Though, I still like to see myself as the little girl that ran around playing in the backyard with my sister Melissa and our dearest friend Alli Gardner. Since this day, Melissa is no longer called a "Painter" and Alli is no longer a "Gardner." -- They've since traded last names for husbands.

I would like to put forward that this is very very strange. (Not that they got husbands, but that I grew up. Stay with me here.) Why am I not a little girl anymore?

Baby Kaybree

This is Kaybree Ann. My dear friend Alli and her husband Brendon brought this little girly from the hospital yesterday.


In the words of Brendon: "I don't know if I can fully describe the feeling you get when you see your child for the first time, but I guess the closest words would be divine, heavenly, and miraculous. This right here sums up the purpose of life, to feel just a smidgen of what Heavenly Father must feel for us. God's love for us is perfect and I was able to feel that with my own kid. I instantly had an unconditional love for a child that was barely a second old."

Thankfully, some people have it figured out. Brendon and Alli will be amazing parents. And with that Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints plug, I continue on. 

But that was an absolute tangent that I would like to connect to my entire train of thought:

Though we experience change and move on with our lives, those behind us (like Kaybree here) have not yet had such experiences.

I would like to submit that maybe life isn't just about us. Yikes, that's an accusation if I ever heard one. So then what is it really all about? I'm no expert, but I think it has something to do with love, service and bettering the circumstances for when you have to teach someone else how to handle change.

Our bodies are mortal. We die. I hate to tell people that, because it is somewhat shocking to most people, as if they didn't see it coming. So with that said, we aren't going to be 20 years old forever, nor will we stay 26, 49, 62 or 90.

But somebody else will eventually be that age, and they are going to walk right into the same troubles you faced. Maybe not exactly the same, but similar in nature.

Our bodies might die, but written records stay behind. Our advice can be immortalized in pages.

It's interesting that this idea came to my mind today. Because a great friend posted on his blog about this very idea not a few hours ago. His name is Gabe Meyr. He's very quiet, very polite, and very wise. He's a poet and a great thinker-- he thinks some of the greatest things to be thunk.

He said: "When climbers scale a route they can put metal studs into the cliff that serve as an anchor point for future climbers, making it more safe and a little easier to go up. We don't have to trailblaze our way around because much of the cliff of life (which we scale upward) has already been marked by people long past. It happens sometimes that an author I'm reading describes an idea that I've wondered about before, then they articulate it and develop it much more than I have, and I'm grateful that they've done it."

A great analogy for record keeping. Whether it be books, journals, photographs, whatever. When you write it, it is there. Those who come across later down the road find it as a map, maybe even the treasure itself.

I would also like to say that we can be our own map writers. If you keep records, photographs and writings, look back through them. Listen to yourself-- you might just learn something.

Now back to the topic at hand. Change. Yes, it happens. So how do we handle change in the moment it is happening?

Keep a perspective that you'll have more pages to write. This is not the end. It is merely a moment in an eternity we can't fully grasp yet. You may be the last of your kind: not married, not expecting, not serving a mission for your church, not graduated. That's perfectly okay. You. Are. Okay.

Remember the last change you encountered? You survived. You grew from it. You pressed forward. Now you're comfortable with it, and now it's your life.

I challenge you to do that again.

Change isn't what is left after you've used the dollar. Change, when put together after much time, is powerful., and greater than the dollar of the first trade.

Count your change: it might not make "cents"-- but you'll find you're much more rich than you thought.

Love,

 Monica

Here are some evidences of change. Some are brutal. Some are wonderful.

Heritage Halls was torn down. That was Jared's building where he got bed bugs.
Hard to see it go. It's now a pile of dirt.
Make way for the "New Heritage" buildings.

Jeff Doty: One of my best friends since Jr. High.
The first photo is us as freshmen. The next, his baptism into the Mormon church,
the next, New Years 2012, and the last is us as sophomores in college.

Me and Jared, cerca 2010. Our first photo together.
2012: He's in Yerevan, Armenia as a missionary for our church.
I'm still here.
Wow, we grew up.

My roommate Lauren Jones, best friends since freshman year of college.
Now she's happily married to Jesse Myrick.

Emilie Elmont, freshman roommate and best friend.
She's now happily married to Kelton Davis.

Of course, Kate. Best friend since we were 11 years old.
Honestly, it's been a good ride.
So glad she's still single.

My childhood friend, Clayton Webb, passed away.
His quad-riding legacy lives on in the Sand Dunes of Yuma, AZ.

Gilbert Arizona got a temple.

I have not seen Elder Jared Hammer, my best friend in the whole world, for one year.
Half way done. Half way done. Half way done.

(Left) This is me and Jared, pre-relationship. And after. (Right)
It's funny to see how two people change together.
First he needed therapy from me, and then I was his therapy.
Go figure.

Alexis Cooper, best friends since freshman year of high school.
Probably one of the most stable people in my life.
She gets a mission call this month.

My best friend Tim Harker.
He's been gone almost 6 months on his mission to Nebraska.

Faith: In the Words of Odysseus, and Monica.

Dear World: Let's talk.

So this week is going to be somewhat scary. It's the last couple weeks left of school for Spring term, meaning everything is due and tests are flooding in. Is it normal to have 3 tests in one week? ... For one class?!

Anyway, I've decided to take an approach to the next couple weeks as Odysseus did in the Odyssey:
"For in my day I have had many bitter and painful experiences in war and on the stormy seas. So let this new disaster come. It only makes one more." - Odysseus (Homer)


I'm not saying "bring it on"..... but I sort of am. In a sheepish "don't really, please" sort of way.

On a completely unrelated note, today I found out that my older sister Melissa is going to be having a baby boy! I cannot say how excited I am, because I was secretly hoping it would be a boy so we could wrestle.

On another unrelated note, my mom and little sister are now on a cruise to Alaska. .... the week before I was done with school? Yeah okay. I see how it is!

Anyway, I've also been studying a matter that has previously been a challenge: Having Faith. I guess this could relate back to the quote from the Odyssey (not that I'm saying Mythology is true and factual, but it is in fact very entertaining and tells quite a bit about early culture and proposed religion.) With Faith in Jesus Christ, I believe we can be more and greater than we ever could be on our own. It sort of finally clicked this week the purpose of living: to live in a way that would allow you to live with God again one day. Can I just say that that sounds really good? Amongst the turmoil of piling small things, it just sounds wonderful to live with Him again one day. I think if we could see exactly what was waiting, we would never do anything contrary to His will-- it's kind of nice to know somebody knows everything. It makes trusting God very worthwhile.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you don't believe in God, I highly suggest you look into it. It's the best.

Some say relying on Faith over logic is weak. I would like to combat (lovingly) such claims. I've found in my life that nothing is more powerful than "feelings." How do actions come about? Because of the feelings that preceded such actions. It's a common phrase that love makes you do crazy things that at times don't make sense. I would propose that sometimes that just means you have your priorities straight. I'm no hippie, but I do believe that there is a lot more going on in this world than we can see, and much of it is empowered by love and by hope. It's funny how Faith is based on those exact things. Love and hope leads to trust-- a trust that things will work out. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints: love, hope and trust in God and Jesus Christ leads to happiness.

In the world, miracles can happen because of hope. It's just amazing what can come to pass with only a particle of faith.


"But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words."


There is a God, and I believe He lives.

Last week I got to visit two of my favorite people: the Merricks! I had a blast staying with them. We provoked the Aggies at the ice cream shop with BYU sweatshirts, ate "where the locals eat", and watched Sound of Music as well as Pride and Prejudice (I have been deprived of these "classics" before now-- which ALL of the Hammer family has made very clear. Thank you, Carl, for the teasing. One day I will see Star Wars, and read Narnia. I promise.)

Anyway, these people are amazing. She's a seamtress and he's a craftsman. I left their home with tips and souvenirs!

On the way home, I stopped in Brigham City and saw the new temple being constructed. What a beaut'! I noticed after taking this picture something funny. Notice the "One Way" sign pointing to the temple?

This temple I feel is like a simplified Salt Lake City temple. I think it's gorgeous. I can't describe how WHITE it was-- this photo doesn't give it credit!

Well world, it's be real. Let's hope (with faith!) that I will survive the next two weeks. Home is calling!
-Monica

PS:
My roommate Caroline set a potato on fire in the microwave just now. We are now airing out our apartment, and have put an official decree of "Fire Escape" plans written in marker on a sheet of paper on the door. It's official, there's gotta be some regulation codes being broken here. Melinda: "There's no fire extinguisher!! WE'D DIE!"